Selfish? Me?

There are certain things in life you never want to see, hear, think, realize; one of those, and probably the one that causes the most impact is catching yourself into an adjective you never thought could describe you: Selfish.
In a regular world, where good is good and bad is bad, the correct way to behave is on behalf of your neighbor (according to what Jesus taught, for Christians). Another support for this “good behavior” might be supported by the universal law of karma, if you give something good you receive something good in return… if you! But is it actually ALWAYS on the other person behalf? Is it always just about giving? Is it?

For some un-remembered reason I’ve been questioning myself about all I mentioned above, and I came to the sadly true fact that even when I try to do something good for no reason, there is always a reason! So I can’t stop wondering how selfish I can actually be… Should I explain more? Ok, let’s use the same example that caught my attention: a gift! Something special for someone special… I try to get the best for that person, something that him/her really likes...something that makes him/her feel special; something that whenever this person sees it makes it think of me! Yup, the selfish act finally shows up: “Think of me whenever you see it, ‘cuz I was so awesome and generous to give you this” (TOTALLY SELFISH).

Another example? I will use a very common action to illustrate it; I go on the subway, very comfy after a long heels day at work, and this old lady comes close to me, I feel I should stand up and offer her my place so I do that and she sits. But it doesn’t necessarily end there because she needs to say thank you at least, right? And what if this old lady is one of those people that simply don’t recognize good deeds? Well if that were the case, I probably will not yell at her but I definitely would be upset because of her lack of good manners, because: Hello!! I stood up for her! So, here I am, doing a good deed yes, but waiting for it “minimal” (but still) recognition! I certainly know both of these examples might sound shallow and all… but seriously I haven’t found yet an unselfish deed and doing non-unselfish deeds, don’t that make us selfish?? I guess we live in a world where Joey is right!

Now, that of course shouldn’t stop us from trying to do well to others. In my modest opinion, good things attract good things too. So if by wanting a smile, a hug, a nice greeting, a thank you and any other kind of recognition after doing something good, and also if that’s gonna bring joy to MY life, makes ME feel good, and want to share some more good deeds with OTHERS… yes I’m selfish!! What about you??